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End of week brain sweepings

There’s nothing like looking down at the last bite of your lunch and noticing that part of it is blue.


This morning.

Sean: [rummaging through our room] Where’s my Blackberry?

Me: [spying the empty belt clip for it, and unaccountably reminded of Flanders and Swann] “There was the case, but the horn itself was missing.” [belatedly realizing the play on the word horn] Ha! Now I’ll think of that song every time you lose that thing.

Sean: Great. Are you sitting on it? Yes you are, you bastard.

Me: Oh. Oops.


My extended Shakespearean mondegreen:

OSWALD:
The leopards have wunched the poor boy
For every dollar he’s got. Feast your eyes upon him
[Mumble bumble] O! Unto her death!

Dies

EDGAR:
A serviceable villain;
As like to the right forth of the [mumble, radio static].

GLOUCESTER AND/OR EDGAR:
Is he dead? Sit you down, father; rescue him!

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